We had a fight

 

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Recently, my husband and I had a fight.

It has actually been a long time since the last one. And truthfully, that’s how it should be. Fights in a marriage shouldn’t disappear. If a marriage is growing, the arguments should grow wiser too.

This one started because of me. I responded inappropriately, at the wrong time. But sometimes, as a woman, a single response can unlock emotions that have been quietly stored away. Things we never intended to bring up, suddenly standing at the door.

It escalated.

Not with shouting.
Not with hurtful words.
Just silence.

You know how people joke that when women are angry, they start folding clothes?
Well… it’s surprisingly true.

My husband knew I was sulking. Even though, if we’re being honest, I had no right to. I was the one who started it.

Still, he came to me.
He called me with the gentle names he always uses.
He even brought home things he knows I like.

From where I stood, he had already chosen peace.
He had already moved on.

But not me.

I was still holding onto the war.

So the arguments continued.
He had his reasoning. I had mine.
But even in disagreement, there was still respect. No shouting, no harsh words, just two people standing firmly on their own thoughts.

Eventually, he went downstairs and laid on the couch, while I stayed in the bedroom. If I followed my emotions, the frustration in my heart was still burning.

But after a while, I went down.

I sat down.
And we talked, calmly. 

Because at the end of the day, communication is what saves a marriage.

That moment, I changed my perspective. I stopped looking at him as someone I was arguing with, and started seeing him again for who he truly is in my life. I am seeing him with all of his kindness.

A man I need protection from.
A man I want beside me for the rest of my life.

Some spouses process things logically. Others process things emotionally. Islam doesn’t erase those differences, it teaches us to respect them.

Your spouse is not difficult.

They are simply different.

And despite those differences, you are still two people trying to build the same home.